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The Church of Juan Valdez
The Church of Juan Valdez is dedicated to the worship of Juan, The Burro, and The Bean.
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Juan Valdez
Juan is the Allfather. He who brought forth the bean. It is through His love that we exist, in any enjoyable state anyways, and through His love that we perservere. For the unknowing amongst you, Juan is the gentleman you see on coffee commericals, leading the Burro around through supermarkets, villages, and the Bean Fields, where he picks the coffee. Although it is widely believed that Juan was a peasant, we know the truth. And the truth is that He is a God! Who else but a God could provide us with such a wonderful gift, a gift that empowers us to overcome our otherwise bleary excuse for an existance. If you haven't figgered it out by now, Juan's gift to us, His beloved children, is Coffee. Without Juan's love, people would be overcome by depression, and listlesness. The world as we know it would collapse! Without Juan's love, there would be nothing. And for Juan's love we give thanks.
The Burro
The Burro symbolizes to us, the labour that is involved with any worthwhile pursuit. Through this labour we achieve our goals and dreams. Through his tireless and unerring labour, The Burrow delivers to us The Bean. Without The Burro, there would be no Bean, and thus NO COFFEE!!
The Bean
All things must have a starting point, and with Coffee, it is The Bean. What starts out a small and humble, can blossom forth into many wonderful things. Such it is with The Bean. When Juan cast forth the bean in The Great Beanfields, he knew that one day this small, humble object would bear great rewards. And so it is with anything that is worthwhile. All things, be they ideas, dreams, wealth, or material goods, start small.
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